There is one of my most interesting love quotes of all times, we are all capable of stopping this thing of finding ourselves in a hole where the more time we spend, the more it looks as if we are digging our selves deeper.
Today, we look at how we can identify a relationship that has the potential of turning into a self made prison.
In the Beginning
This is the first and most important tip for those heading into the wrong direction: The moment you find that things just happen so fast and before you know it, love is being confessed, commitments are being cemented and you cant even remember how you got this far (into bed), the worst part is that it just does not end there. Plans of the future are being declared, etc, then know that you have backing a wrong horse please find a way of getting off this horse fast.
In other words, if you find that you have done some things that you have never done before………. Then know that you are headed for troubled waters.
Control
One thing that all toxic relationships have in common is that there is always fight for control “The right one” will let you share your lives and the “Wrong one” will always think of wanting to take control your life.
The worst thing about somebody taking control of your life is that they first have to kill your life socially so that they can rebuild it using their tools of control.
Insensitivity
A friend of mine once told me that she has this rule that when a guy first approaches her, she makes the first date be a hospital visit, it’s out of this visit that she will decide if the guy is worth her time.
Am not suggesting that you carry your potentials mate to the hospital, but you can always see someone’s compassion from a mile away, sensitive people make excellent partners.
Dishonesty
If someone can steal one dollar be sure that they can also steal a hundred dollars. So check for those small traits of dishonesty, simple trivial lies that you catch your partner on could be red flags for more hidden things, things like location where are you? who is that? Dishonest people will find it hard to give specific answers; a hidden past is also a big indicator of a bigger underlying problem of one who is dishonest.
Verbal Abuse
Verbal abuse could be aptly compared with a window in a house. When a prospective partner has a tendency of verbal abuse, then it is a window that he/she will be more abusive after some time.
The abuse does not have to be directed at you, it could be directed at some one else but this is an indication towards a more violent future.
Always try and see how this partner handles other people, a violent person to others can always turn out to be violent to you.
Background
A small back ground check does not hurt anyone. There are people who were risen in bitter circumstances, these are people who will always be bitter, in other words no one can give something that they didn’t receive in their lives.
We should borrow a leaf from business enterprises, most sensitive companies will never get an outsider to come inside before they do a thorough background check; but its funny that we invite people into our lives without even knowing their second names!
Past and Present relationship
This is not like checking the background, this is more like trying to understand what failed the previous relationship, its like a hands on practice on a job, if possible try and find out the ex. And find out what their opinions are of your potential one.
Lastly but not least, a good relationship is sometimes sheer luck. So please always ask for the unseen hand of fate, if you are a believer always go for the Almighty’s help and then sit back and enjoy your love!
